“We only have one life and you are too afraid to live it.”
Directed by Dexter Fletcher (Bohemian Rhapsody, Rocketman) and written by Deadpool writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, and Tom Holland-era Spider-Man writers Chris McKenna and Erik Sommers, Ghosted is more action-packed than romantic-comedy, but it takes its shot at both anyway.
Needy farmer Cole Turner (Chris Evans) and self-described art curator Sadie Rhodes (Ana de Armas) have their meet-cute when she’s looking to buy a plant from him that requires little commitment. Knowing this, he cannot in good conscience sell her a begonia and tries to sell her a cactus instead. This meet-cute, however, is filled with their constant bickering and somehow leads to a whirlwind romance that lasts all day and all night, culminating in sex. Not that we get to see any of this—maybe it was cut for screen-time, or maybe the writers never wrote it because it’s not their expertise.
Afterwards, Cole worries he has been ghosted when Sadie doesn’t text him back. Eventually, he’s able to locate her in London thanks to a tracker on his inhaler which ended up in Sadie’s handbag. When he arrives, he’s kidnapped by terrorists led by French villain, Levesque (Adrien Brody), who believes he is the Taxman. Cole is rescued by Sadie, the real Taxman, who is actually a CIA agent who was between missions when they met and definitely not working in the art industry like she told him. The pair find themselves caught up in Sadie’s action-packed original mission, which is to prevent the sale of a biological weapon Levesque is determined to buy.
Ghosted has lots of action set-pieces, including shootouts, car chases, and a restaurant face-off. They don’t bring anything new to the table of popular tropes, but they’re seated to provide us with a familiar ride. Unfortunately, these set-pieces have little rewatchability, as what’s on-screen is often not visually captivating. There are some sharp, witty, and humorous bits of dialogue that are well-performed, but the plot is dragged out, creating the film’s lengthy runtime. Luckily, the film’s solid soundtrack makes it more entertaining to watch, particularly during the fight scenes. Throughout, there’s two Dua Lipa songs from her 2020 album, Future Nostalgia, then there’s Baby by Charli XCX, but also Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars, and even Taxman by The Beatles, Heart of Glass by Blondie, and My Sharona by The Knack. It’s a great mix that some might call dated, but others (me) would call fun!
Despite the poor script, the film’s fatal flaw is that Evans and de Armas have no chemistry, even though multiple characters throughout the film try to gaslight us into thinking they do. It’s surprising considering the pair showed more chemistry in Knives Out where they were more-or-less enemies. Both good actors, de Armas’ Sadie is too emotionally shut-off to allow any sparks to fly, sexual or otherwise, with Evans’ Cole. The characters, instead, share the tiresome banter of two friends who should probably break up. It doesn’t help that de Armas dons the worst wig you’ve ever seen, in a colour so ill-fitting, that it’s unflattering even on a beauty like de Armas—but it’s still impossible to make her ugly. The plot is an interesting gender-swap and it’s fun to see Evans, who played Captain America in the MCU, play against type. Who knew someone so hot and muscular from farming could be rendered so useless? Evans playing against type just makes me think of his role in Not Another Teen Movie—I would like more of that, please.
Most of the cast does the acceptable bare minimum required, but Marwan Kenzari as Marco, one of Sadie’s co-workers and ex-lovers, stands out. I would’ve loved to have watched him on past missions with Sadie, as even the words shared about their past have more chemistry than she does with Cole. Ghosted makes use of cameo roles too, including actors John Cho, Sebastian Stan, and Ryan Reynolds—who is like a father to me. There’s some laughs in many of these characters being introduced just to be killed off pretty quickly and abruptly, as part of their dangerous profession—quite the different world for farmer Cole.
Ultimately, Ghosted is bland and bloated with no real personality. Despite the drops of comedy that occasionally shine through, the film is the wrong balance of action and romance. It’s entertaining enough, though, which is the best thing a film can be when it’s not that good, but I can’t say I’d watch it again, which is a shame because there’s a great film in here somewhere.
Ghosted is currently streaming on Apple TV+.
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